failure

i'm going to europe.
i leave 20 june and return 17 august.
since i bought the ticket, my stomach has jumped
up to my throat and my heart fell to my toes.
i'm having miniature anxiety attacks everyday,
and i've started applying for au pair jobs because
i'm so afraid of spending all of my money in one week.
hostels are expensive! train travel is expensive!
eating could be cheap. i'll have to quit smoking for sure.
oh my goodness what was i thinking?

i guess i wasn't thinking.

this is going to be the best trip of my life.

i might die.